cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
