i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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