We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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