So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
