I wish I only lived at night.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
