I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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