Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
