i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
