Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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