can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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