people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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