Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
