His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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