I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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