listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize