He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
