toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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