She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I party with great urgency now.
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