Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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