How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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