Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I want a musical about memes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize