problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
