I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
