i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
