apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize