Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
