it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
