Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
