We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's Friday. Sex?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
