I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
