you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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