playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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