Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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