Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
