I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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