I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
