Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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