i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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