Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize