New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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