i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
