direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
