normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize