love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
