No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
