omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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