i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
