I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
