if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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