im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
