Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Pooping to opera.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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