Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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