Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
