franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
