I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
