i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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