Me. At least after what I've been through.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
