Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
