she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
